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Why Value Marriage
Marriage, the God-given cornerstone of life, is under tremendous pressure in our society. How did that happen? It wasn’t one difficult decision, but an unfolding of our society’s inability to deal with choices in times of cultural change. Prior to World War II the roles of men and women were clearer, and they were both very important positions. The man went out to work (or to war), and the woman stayed back and worked at home and cared for the children. The relationships worked for a number of reasons and cultural realities. WWII came, and the world was thrown into chaos. Women, whose husbands were off fighting the war, were going to work in the mills that built tanks, planes, and ships. They began to find identity outside the home. When the war ended, the women went back home and the men went to work, their roles reverting to pre-WWII positions. These were the “Ozzie & Harriet” days. But something dramatic was happening in the homes. They were being automated – washers & dryers, dishwashers, microwave ovens. Maintaining the home became much easier. The world had changed, and the old male/female roles just didn’t work any more. In 1960 our view of marital relationships changed when the birth control pill was legalized. It was the first of that decade’s events that questioned society’s norms. Sex was now disassociated with childbirth, and became instead an expression of love and play, within or outside of marriage. Women were no longer satisfied to be confined to the old societal norm - and men began to become unsure of their role. Then in 1970 a milestone law was passed, altering forever the way we would view marriage: No Fault Divorce. It changed everything. The new law played out this way: How much money do you receive? Divorce became simply a matter of dividing assets. And…. as we define divorce, we define marriage. Marriage, in the eyes of the law, was now an economic agreement. Three years later came another court decision: Roe v Wade. Sex is no longer a matter of responsibility – sex, marriage and children were further separated. Key ingredients of traditional marriage were now legally gone, and the moral component and human pain of divorce were taken away from the civil law. Many view this as a reasonable transition to a modern society. With these changes established, homosexuality came to the forefront, asking for acceptance. Culture had determined that sex / childrearing were separate from marriage. Marriage is about finances and assets; so one kind of relationship within marriage should be just as good as another. The press for homosexual marriage finds its roots and precedence in the way the court had defined marriage - by defining divorce. Are you coming from this cultural point of view? I understand why – it’s logical. To turn the page: our Christian life is not about what we’re against, but what we are for. As Christians our choices are determined by what Scripture says. We’re coming from a different vantage point. When the bible and culture intersect, the choice is easy - when the bible and culture divide, the choice becomes more challenging. What does the bible say about marriage? God’s plan was seen from the beginning of creation, for He made them Scripture views marriage as an indissoluble union between a man and a woman - not a financial arrangement or an asset management program. It is the foundational relationship for the human race. How does God define marriage? Marriage values God’s creation. God created human beings in His image. In the image of God He created them. He created them male and female. And expanded in chapter 2: So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. (The word “helper” here does not imply a subservient role. The same Hebrew word is used in scripture, in the phrase “The Lord is my helper.”) When God created a woman and brought her to Adam. “At last!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own flesh and bone.” In other words: This one completes me. With the joining of Adam and Eve, God created marriage, and the man and woman were completed as one. Marriage values our differences. In the image of God He created them. He created them male and female. Together man and woman are a representation of God. A man is an incomplete representation of God, and a woman is an incomplete representation of God. Make no mistake - it takes the union of both men and women to reflect God’s image. To try to alter that and make it one or the other is to try to diminish the image of God. Men and women in marriage complete the reflection of God’s image. When marriage partners compete or are the same, the biblical pattern is jeopardized. Marriage Values our children. God blessed them and said, “Have many children and grow in number. Marriage in scripture is deeply linked to children; it is not disassociated. Every child needs three things in their lives: a masculine influence, a feminine influence, and a demonstration of commitment. That makes the challenge of single parenting doubly difficult. Marriage values Jesus’ love. Wives should always put their husbands first, as the church puts Christ first. This isn’t some strange subservient role for the wife – it’s love with commitment. The same for the husband. This is a joining together of giving and loving – from both sides, to both sides. It portrays beautifully the value of marriage by using it as the portrayal of Christ and the Church. Both of these definitions of marriage are understandable – culture’s and the Scripture’s. Both represent a values choice that we all make every day about marriage and men’s and women’s roles. This choice is not a statement of the value of people – it is a choice about how we will value marriage and work to understand men and women’s roles. As a Christian I believe: Culture is not our guide, not our Lord. We’re not opposed to it; But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
Application Thoughts: Have do I understand the cultural views of marriage, divorce, and the roles of men and women? How do I understand the Biblical view of marriage, divorce, and the roles of men and women? Which is the guide for my life choices?
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