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Sunday Morning

Nabal and Abigail - A Lesson in Gentleness

 

The stories of David in the Old Testament have shown us how David loved Others In Their Otherness.  He showed kindness to Mephibosheth, patience with Saul and love to Jonathan.  This week we are going to examine David’s gentleness when dealing with others.

Gentleness is often seen as weakness in our society, but gentleness can be very powerful.  The power of God is many times in a gentle whisper or a gentle touch. 

Gentleness is characterized by being thoughtful, calm and considerate.  Another definition for “gentleness” in scripture is a “sense of being cared for” or a “mild medication.”  Gentleness is also shown through a ‘benevolent ruler.”  When we think of a leader in our society, we envision a powerful, driven person.  But some leaders can lead with great gentleness.

Being gentle doesn’t eliminate us from being strong.  In fact, when we imagine Jesus, who was very strong and powerful, we usually imagine him as a kind and gentle leader.  Being gentle doesn’t mean you are a push over or a doormat.  If you take a Tylenol, which is a mild medication, you want something to change.  When you have a benevolent ruler, you still want them to be able to lead. 

David meets a woman named Abigail who shows him how powerful gentleness can be.  While David is still on the run from Saul, waiting for his time to rule Israel, he meets Nabal and his wife Abigail.  Nabal lives in Carmel, which is an area that Saul has claimed as one of his favorite places, so we can deduce that Nabal was a Saul supporter.  Nabal was also wealthy, surly and mean.  Abigail is beautiful and intelligent.

1 Samuel 25:2-3 (NIV)  “A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy.  He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel.  His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail.  She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband, a Calebite, was surly and mean in his dealings.”

As we see in 1 Samuel 25:6-11 (NIV), David and his army had set up camp around Carmel, and had been protecting Nabal’s sheep and property while they were there.  When Nabal begins shearing his sheep and starts to reap the profits of a good year, David sent some of his men to ask Nabal for some of the profits.  The men ask gently, without demand or threat, for some of what they think they are due.  Nabal responds with harsh words and nothing in return for David and his men.  David’s men report Nabal’s response and he tells his men to go back in fighting mode. 

1 Samuel 25:13 (NIV)  “Put on your swords!”

Meanwhile, one of Nabal’s servants, who had overheard the exchange between Nabal and David’s men, tells Abigail what has happened and warns her that David might fight back. 

1 Samuel 25:17 (NIV)  “Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household.  He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”

The servant feels comfortable approaching Abigail with this worry. Someone who is gentle is also approachable, as Abigail was.  Gentle people want to listen to other’s problems rather than criticize or berate the other person.

Abigail went humbly to David and asked that the blame be placed on her rather than her husband Nabal, 1 Samuel 25:23-27 (NIV).  Abigail is speaking gently to David, but she is also protecting her household, her husband and David from a battle.  Her argument is powerful without blame or accusation, and it sways David’s actions.  David accepts her request and blesses Abigail, because she has calmed him down and shown him that his anger is not worth the damage that may ensue.  David says to Abigail:

1 Samuel 25:33 (NIV) “May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.”

According to 1 Samuel 25:37-39 (NIV), the next day, Abigail tells Nabal about her conversation with David, and Nabal’s heart fails him and ten days later he dies.  Again David chooses to trust that God would deal with Nabal, rather than take matters into his own hands.  Later, David asked Abigail to become his wife.

To be gentle, we need to act as David did:

  • Indentify with the Other Person’s Struggle
  • Be Approachable
  • Trust God to Work Things Out

We have a wonderful example of the power of gentleness in our church in John and Ester Pardini and Sal and Josephine Capozzoli.  Ten years ago, our church established the café at church on Sunday mornings. Ester stepped forward to lead this mission.  She used her gentle spirit to create and shape the café that has become a hallmark of our church community.  Her husband John came forward and loved everyone who came into the café.  Their friends Sal and Josephine came forward to support John and Ester by tirelessly working side by side, week after week for years.  These four people have served and lead our church in a new direction, with gentle spirits.  As these four servants step down from their ministry, we honor them and the legacy of gentleness and love that they leave with all of us.

Questions for Thought:

How can you strive to be more gentle? 

Do you see gentleness as a strength? 

Would others say you’re approachable? Why is it important to identify with other people’s struggles?

Will you trust God to work things out, rather than react on your own?

 

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